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Mabeo is a member of Positive Connection, the only Internet dating forum geared to people with HIV in South Africa, the country with more infections – over 5 million and counting – than any other. I still haven’t found anyone I’ve gotten romantically involved with, but I’m carefully going through the list. AIDS is no longer an automatic killer here. As in the United States, it has become a chronic illness for those with access to antiretroviral drugs.

Up to , South Africans are on treatment, well below the half-million deemed in urgent need of care but far more than a few years ago. Life insurance is an option for some with HIV, and medical advances make it easier to bear healthy children.

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But for South African native Mary, simple dating carried potentially disastrous consequences. Mary was HIV-positive and was plagued with issues of revealing her HIV infection to a prospective partner — planning for a long-term relationship when she does not know what the next day holds, and keeping a partner safe from her virus. Mary immediately signed up, and after a few months, had gotten to know two men who were in the “same situation” as her, one from the United Kingdom and the other from South Africa.

Mary’s story is just one of many that Ben Sassman, founder of The Positive Connection, hears everyday. Sassman is one of the few who dares to concern himself with the “living” part of living with HIV, and saw the need for an online dating opportunity for HIV-positive patients. In an effort to help an old friend who was in the same predicament as Mary, Sassman self-funded his own online dating service.

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